Feb 17, 2011

Incomplete something....

9th February, morning my sister called me up and Gave me lots of wishes from whole family and Nani....and later on I started asking about my Nani's health, as it’s the only thing I call her. It was last January, when I visited her as lots of Cobwebs settled around me so had no time to visit again till now. I can remember her giving me Chocolates like ‘Melody and Parle’, which we were fond of in the early years. On this Chocolate Day...9 February 2011, I wish to take handful of Chocolates from her.
Memories were flooding back and I was lost with her eyes and loose skin swinging around Elbow, her cough and voice that needs no gaps between her lips and our ears to be cleared of. Taking her to sunlight in the last winters and checking her oxygen cylinders by the midnight, making her take soup and Tablets and going to Doctors by every next evening and listening that no there is no hope. I ended up this day in her memories and transparent opacity.
The day enrolled, I started thinking of her again and again...Mom called me up and asked me, If you got some time, then come and we will go to Nani, this time it was sort of talk which don't encrypts that she is very ill and we need rushing visits to her as every time it happens in winter. I said to Mom that winters are gone and she will be fine very soon. She used to hug me when I was 4 and she continued hugging me every few scorching holidays of summer when I get some vacations... She used to say that you would be becoming Teddy Bear if you put on some weight and she used to call me...so called Motu. My phone vibrated, it was a message, which shirked me, I realized I was in classroom and lecture was going on Developmental communication and briefs about topic were going on. I opened the inbox and it was a message of Teddy Day..10th February. In fact she looks pretty, her soft voice and scolding me not for taking me proper diets were I loved that scolds of love and care. She too looks like Teddy bear when her fleshy hands, soft skin and loyal eyes (filled with Surma) used to serve me milk by early morning and say “Beta no empty stomach early in the morning”. A voice came, “order de do”….again I got dump and realized that it was Canteen were I was sitting from a long time and people around were chatting, friends were busy on discussing the movie like Inception and Shutter Island.
At the end of the day, I gone to bed and by next morning Priyanka, got me up, asking me to promise that I am surely coming to attend her performance by 14th Feb. Eve for Annual event of the college, were I was alumni and I replied I will be there, no need to promise. The date was 11 Feb, and day was so called Promise Day, as told by the message beeps around whole day about Promise Day.
We were having Tea and coffee on 12th February and my friend were gossiping about family and she told me today is the Hug day, I shared parcels of my framed pieces of Nani and me that her hug used to shell around me and feeling of being secure was at high curves. She used to make me sleep in her room which was darkest ever as no street lights falls on the window and generally nightmares scares me, so it was her hug making me relieved that the oldest and experienced person of the family is holding me till the dark time of the day and whenever I used to get late in sleeping because of watching TV with all my cousins, I go to her room by pressing my sleepers so that she shouldn’t be aware of my absence before that, but there comes her voice, ordering that “sleep Early, Get up Early.” Moreover, notorious smile comes on my face that she was waiting for me to get asleep. She kisses my forehead with her lips leaving a wet touch, which I used to wipe by pillow or my full arm T-shirts or her Saree.
The last January when I was biding adieu to her, she gave me same chocolates, a hug which was gone too weak like her and as I already put on some weight and no more a child, she was unable to shell me completely, her skin was more wrinkled and she was shy of me, she don’t used to call me to take her to bathroom but I tried many times to do this. When I was leaving the room, she gave me Kiss, same wet kiss, left a feeling of numbness and she said “come soon Shobha “. She used to call every one by mom’s name…Shobha… and I said I would be there soon. I left the place as she was about to sleep alone this time but she get up and put her efforts and summoned me…”why don’t you stay with me for a day or two more “ I promised her that I will be back very soon… and she allowed me to leave then. Tears were flooding, as the feelings were pious like a child, inside me and a child inside her.
Today its 13th February and the flowers bouquets of my birthday were wilted, as I approaching to take them off from my table, a glass bottle of Foundation felt down, a piece of glass attacked the thumb of my nail and blood was oozing out, my cell phone ringing continuously which I was unaware of. Brother was not sounding well said “Nani passed away yesterday night Swati “in a deep sitted voice filled with pain. There was unbroken silence by things going around me. Tears were rolling down, I cleaned my Hand filled with foundation giving a tint of that feminist old beauty touch, and texture of her skin and the thumb was paining on other side. I thrown out that dried roses and thought that it is the time that her wilted, still, soulless body might have been laden with fresh roses and I will not be able to see my love on this Valentine even if I reach to that Dark room by tomorrow.
Nevertheless, one thing still I am having i.e. ………………….. Swati ‘Shobha’ Sevlani…..